Enjoy Nothando and Colani Makhanya’s beautiful love story❤️

Nothando “Mclight” Makhanya (nee Dlamini), 27 was born in Mpolonjeni (Siteki) and grew up in Manzini and later moved to Ngculwini. Colani “Mclight” Makhanya, 28, was born in Mlindazwe (Ezulwini) and grew up in Lobamba and Mpolonjeni (Mbabane). They are now based in Bhunya where Nothando works as a pre-school teacher and Colani is an IT technician at Montigny Investments. 

They got married on September 22, 2018. 

How They Met

Nothando first caught Colani’s eye at a funeral in 2013. She had gone to support a friend whose father had died and Colani was part of the band that played at the ceremony. Recalling that day, Colani says he didn’t get a chance to talk to her. Nothando points out that it was because she had to rush off to work in Manzini. Fortunately, they met again in 2016 at Hawane Christian Life Centre (CLC) where he was staying with his older brother, who is the lead pastor and manager of the centre, and she was there to complete a pre-school teacher training course. 

On the day Nothando arrived to commence her studies at Hawane, Colani was off-loading some containers that had just arrived which were carrying clothes donated from the UK to the centre’s orphanage. Initially he didn’t immediately recognise her as being the young lady he had seen at the funeral some time ago. However she again caught his attention with her outgoing and bubbly personality which contrasted with his own quiet nature. When considering the qualities he wanted in a future mate, Colani knew that an outgoing person would be more compatible as he comes from a big family and is the last-born so there was more reason to link up with someone who is of a sociable disposition. With regard to outward appearances, he was also attracted to her flawless dark complexion and thought she was pretty.

Nothando remembers not really taking much notice of him that day. Colani jokingly attributes this to his dishevelled appearance as he was dirty from having to carry the containers. She adds, “beka fake netimphahla ngatsi uyowenta i-gardening…fusti bengi coca kakhulu to notice anything.” After a few days it occurred to Colani that he had seen Nothando before and asked her if she knew the girl at whose father’s funeral he had spotted her. After she confirmed his suspicions, Colani next set in motion a plan to get her number. 

It didn’t take long for Nothando to also start taking notice of Colani. She says this happened the first time she attended church service at the centre where he was one of the servers and played in the band. Nothando recalls being smitten when she caught sight of the now spruced up Colani, i.e.“lobhuti we-guitar,” and vowed to herself to make him hers after completing her studies. Nothando reveals that she felt a deep connection towards Colani even before they spoke. She also thought he was handsome and especially loved his calm and collected demeanour. He struck her as a person of order. His reserved personality gave her some assurance that he was not the type of person to chase after girls just for the sake of it. 

Colani managed to get her number from a mutual friend and also arranged with that person to give his number to Nothando. She recalls being elated with this development. However it took him a long time to establish some communication with her via WhatsApp. Meantime, Nothando became very anxious, “bengingasakhoni nekufudza.”Her prayers were finally answered when after two weeks of waiting that first digital “Hi” finally came!

As luck would have it, Colani couldn’t have chosen a worse time to contact her as she was studying for a test that needed a lot of time as it covered a long module. “But I had to close everything and focus on the message lebese ngenile, ngatitjela ngatsi ngingamane ngifeyile lesifundo lesi for now, I’ll make up for it kulamanye ema-tests.” 

At the start of their romance, the nature of their communication was not as lovey-dovey as Nothando had hoped for since it was more on the platonic side. In time her disappointment abated when their communication became more romantic. Colani explains that he first wanted to see what type of person she was before coming out openly about his romantic feelings for her. 

Challenges

Despite being in contact and regularly seeing each other, the CLC which also ran a Bible school training programme had strict rules regarding the forming of romantic relationships between men and women living at the centre. Those found to be contravening this rule could face expulsion from their respective programme. Therefore their courtship was a bit of a challenge. As the pastor’s brother Colani felt even more pressure to abide by the centre’s rules. Hence, the only times when they got to talk to each other was on Thursday during the church service as well as on Saturday and Sunday; but even then it was just small talk. 

Occasional trips home also provided them with an opportunity to sneak in some quality time, but they still had to be on guard, so much so that even in town they would walk following each other, with Nothando walking in front, and not side by side. This meant that they didn’t really spend much time together doing the usual things couples do whilst courting. But luckily there was WhatsApp and this helped to keep their relationship going.

The Path to Marriage:

Despite the constraints of their courtship, Nothando relates how secure she felt in the relationship and was therefore ready to get married. She also felt that the relationship empowered her to attain a certain level of independence because as the last-born at home she was always seen as the baby, incapable of thinking for herself. However with Colani by her side, she gained confidence in her ability to stand on her own as a young woman and make sound decisions. 

For Colani marriage was something that he desired as he even wanted to get married when he was still quite young — in his 20s. After securing a permanent job at Montigny in December 2017, he felt galvanised to put into action his plans to marry Nothando. By that time they had introduced  each other to their respective families; so marriage was the next natural step for them to take. 

During the course of their courtship they further bonded over their mutual love for music. Colani can play the piano and guitar and they both sing. He also appreciates the fact that Nothando is the kind of woman who challenges him. “I didn’t want someone lototsi, ‘Yebo babe, yebo Makhanya…’ If I say something, I want someone to ask questions like, ‘Why?’ because that would help me if I make a mistake. If my wife says yes to everything that I say that is not a relationship — she would be just following me.” 

What Makes the Present Partner Different:

With Colani, Nothando feels her love is being reciprocated, whereas before him she had felt that she was putting much more into the relationship than the other person. Colani shares the same sentiment as he feels that in his previous relationship he was the one doing more and not receiving much emotional support. However with Nothando he appreciates the way she would sacrifice what she had and share it with him, even when she was a student. She even bought him a suit from South Africa for his graduation — an act that clearly made an impression on Colani as to the type of person she is. When reflecting on the uniqueness of her relationship with Colani, Nothando again makes reference to the love she felt from him during their courtship; she declares: “Ngativa ngiyi-princess; ngativa shengatsi ngingadvwala ngitsi,”I have a man!”

Nothando and Colani’s love story clearly shows that true love can be found in the most unexpected places.