We have all become fearful of the global pandemic that is COVID-19; we are scared by news stories of ventilators, positive cases and deaths. While the virus does present more aggressive symptoms in certain individuals, it’s worth noting that many people even here in Eswatini are beating the illness and making full recoveries. Today, I am here to share one COVID-19 survivor’s story. 

The Beginning of the Battle 

Lindy Vilakazi (28), of Mbabane, relates how she never anticipated contracting COVID-19, given that since the lockdown began in March she had been working from home and hadn’t had much interaction with other people. “I just thought: ‘There is no way that I could get this thing’…I didn’t think it would come anywhere near me.”

However, towards the end of July Lindy recalls experiencing flu-like symptoms — sneezing, coughing, headache as well as loss of sense of smell and taste and fatigue. Despite self-medicating, the symptoms persisted and soon after she developed respiratory problems. Given the gravity of the situation, her mother insisted that she go to the hospital to test for COVID-19.

“[The] chest pains and shortness of breath got worse one night and after calling 977 [government’s coronavirus toll-line] I went to the hospital asking to test… they said they don’t test at night and so they checked my temperature, and when it came back normal they also said: ‘Oh it’s not COVID, it’s just flu.’ So I relaxed.” 

The Struggle to Test

The next day Lindy’s chest pains and breathing worsened. Calling 977 once again for assistance, she was told by the Emergency Medical Services (EMS) personnel that they would “try” to come see her in the morning. They also informed her that they don’t test a person unless they’ve come into close contact with someone who had tested positive. This left Lindy feeling stuck as both the hospital and EMS refused to test her for COVID-19. 

And so the symptoms kept getting worse.

“The next day I called 977 again and told them that: ‘I’m really not okay. I think I really need to test’ and they kept on saying: ‘Okay sitakuta, sisi.’ But they never came.” 

Next Lindy remarks about how her mother and sister had to “move mountains” to find a way for her to test. This involved Lindy’s mother directly calling the Minister of Health, Lizzie Nkosi, to seek her intervention. The minister then instructed EMS to test Lindy who at this point was showing obvious signs of COVID-19. Even after getting instructions from the top, EMS only pitched up a day later. 

Thinking back on that distressing time, Lindy notes: “Anything could have happened between then and the time that they came.”   

Lindy finally tested on the 30th of July. 

Three days later on August 2 (which was a Sunday) her worst fears were confirmed. She received a call to say she had tested positive for coronavirus. 

Lindy recalls her initial reaction to the diagnosis: “I just couldn’t believe that I had contracted THEE virus! The one that has killed thousands around the world…the one that had put the whole world on sleep mode…it has made its way into my own house. How could this have happened? I’ve been so careful. Where did I even get it from?”

Home Alone and Sick 

Since taking the test Lindy had been self-isolating at her flat. Given that she lived alone, EMS deemed it okay for her to be treated from home. Though this would allow her to recover in an environment that she was comfortable in, Lindy admits it was scary being home alone in her condition. 

“If anything were to happen, like in the middle of the night, siyati kutsi 977 akarespondi immediately; so if anything were to happen I could die. There’s nobody who is around. My flat is in Mbabane and then my [family] home is in Mpolojeni, about a 35minutes drive away.” 

A few days into her isolation, doctors from the Ministry of Health came to check on her. Describing the scene she says: “They drove into my flats in an ambulance, fully clad in their COVID-19 PPE, or ‘space suits’, as I call them. Seeing them walk into my living room like that really scared me. That’s when the reality kicked in…I have a deadly virus living in me, and people need to protect themselves from me.” 

After assessing her the doctors told her that she would be fine in 10 days. This gave Lindy some comfort. However, over the course of the week, Lindy recalls how her battle with COVID-19 got to the point where she thought she was going to die. It’s widely noted that the nights are the most challenging part of the day when dealing with COVID-19; one basically feels the full weight of this illness then. 

“During the night when the temperatures changed I would feel it in my chest…it felt like there was a hole in my throat and the cold air was going straight in there. And when the chest hurts it also closes up, and breathing becomes close to impossible. Imagine being all alone and not being able to breathe at 2am…you start saying small prayers asking God to forgive your sins so that you make it to heaven. I would stay up all night long, because on top of not being able to breathe I was also afraid of not waking up. So I slept at 5am everyday.”

Lindy also had to deal with muscle aches in her arms and severe headaches. Describing these headaches she says: “COVID-19 headaches are not like regular headaches. The one I had would start throbbing from the back of my head and proceed to burn my eyes and ears. My whole face felt like it was on fire…the fire that you feel when you have a hot wing and drink hot tea at the same time. So that would cause me to feel extremely hot and cold at the same time…I finally had a fever. So to calm that down I would have to take about three showers during the day and two at night.” 

To alleviate these symptoms Lindy recalls how she would take vitamins, drink ginger and garlic with lemon, and steam up to four times a day. This did help to make her chest feel better, but every time a symptom subsided, something else would come up. Moreover, to deal with the unbearable pain she would take up to six panados a day, but they did little to relieve her pain as she says it was as good as “taking six sweets a day”. 

During this time Lindy felt weak and couldn’t do much physical work, let alone prepare meals for herself. “It was really draining,”she remarks and further notes: “My arms were so painful that I could not pick up anything or do anything with them. And then my energy levels kept on going down.”

A Mental Challenge

For Lindy, COVID-19 was not just a physical trial, but it was also a mental and one. “COVID-19 is something that you have to fight mentally and physically. It really hits hard on your mental state. The pain is so unbearable, like nothing you’ve ever felt before. You really feel like you’re in a losing battle against your own body.”

She relates that for the first few days she was mentally strong and was positive about her recovery, especially since some of her symptoms were starting to subside. However on the third week of isolation her old symptoms reemerged, and this is when she reached breaking point.  

Usually within two weeks many COVID-19 patients have already made some sort of recovery. This was not the case for Lindy who was still experiencing breathing problems. Not only did she feel that the treatment was not working, but that there were no further options to explore. The doctors from the MoH also confirmed that the treatment was not working, suggesting that the persistent symptoms were an indication that the virus was not dead and she would thus need hospital care. Moreover, her medication was finishing which meant she was supposed to be at the end of her treatment. Overwhelmed by anxiety and hopelessness about her situation Lindy succumbed to a panic attack one night.

“That’s when I broke down. That’s the day I had my first panic attack after months of being stable. On top of that I couldn’t breathe due to COVID-19, and I now couldn’t breathe because of the panic attack. If ever there was a night I could’ve died, it was that one. Everything was just shutting down.” 

To be continued

By The Swazi Innerviewer 

This article contains excerpts from “Surviving Our Biggest Nightmare – COVID-19” by Lindy from her blog titled “Mental Health Misunderstood” posted on August 29, 2020.