In addressing the significance of the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence campaign I’ve asked three men to share their thoughts on how men can take part in ending gender-based violence in Eswatini.
Sisekelo Dlamini Shares His Innerviews on GBV
Swazi Innerviews Online: Who are the women that played an influential role in your upbringing?
Sisekelo Dlamini: My mother most especially. During her days as a teacher, she was not just a mother to the children she gave birth to, but to numerous other students.
SIO: How did she contribute in shaping your perception of women?
SD: She showed me how women are not ‘one dimensional’. You know, stay at home, cook, clean, blah, blah. How education was key, not just for males, but for females as well. My mother is multi-dimensional. A teacher, a mother, a wife, a businessman and so many other things.
SIO: Who were the men in your life that shaped your perception of women?
SD: Definitely my dad, and the way he would treat his wife and his children growing up. As the head of the household, he showed how showing respect is the way you gain respect.
SIO: How do feel when you read reports of rampant gender-based violence against girls and women in Eswatini?
SD: These reports really irk me. They are very disturbing. I feel we have got such a long way to go to change the mindset of the boys we raise, and our brothers and fathers too. No one deserves to be sexually violated.
SIO: Why do you think men, particularly in Eswatini, act this way towards women?
SD: The things is, gender-based violence is not an Eswatini thing unfortunately, it’s a global problem. The problem is the masculinity we are taught growing up through different mediums. “This is how a man should act”, “You shouldn’t show your emotions” etc. We as men bottle up our emotions, with no outlet, and at the first sign of a problem, violence is usually the action that follows.
SIO: What do you think can help address the problems around the mistreatment of women
SD: Sensitising men on how to deal with emotional issues. Entities like Kwakha Indvodza are doing an excellent job in this regard. We need more men at the forefront as allies to help fight the fight.
SIO: How do feel when you hear women express statements such as “men are trash”?
SD: I understand where this statement stems from. Us as a gender are generally bad human beings. We are not just bad for women, we are bad for everything around us when it comes to violence. We are the number one killer of men and women.
SIO: What would you like Swazi women to know so we don’t completely lose faith in our local men?
SD: As I mentioned above, bodies like Kwakha Indvodza are trying to change the mindset of the boy-child. There are men out there who are trying to ‘rally the troops’ in raising boys who will see how violence is not, and never will be, the answer. It may take a few generations, but the seed of change has already been planted.
Complied by the Innerviewer
